sth you never know; sth i never tell

We’re no longer the same as we used to be. I wish I could talk to you, but I never can. Yes, it’s all about the transformation. I don’t wanna get hurt, and I don’t wanna hurt you either. So I hide away, watch you around and never let you know.

I'm leaving, take care...

The First Partial Solar Eclipse

The first partial solar eclipse of 2007 takes place at 9:22 AM, Yinchuan, Ningxia Hui Autonomous Region, northwest China, March 19, 2007.

The bulletin downstairs said there’d a partial solar eclipse today, and it demonstrates some knowledge of solar eclipse (I swear to god, I did read it line by line, and have been waited reverently). However, nothing’s happened in Zhuhai, not even a clue showed up~ I wonder, is the partial really that “partial”? Well, maybe Yinchuan is never that preferable for the sky, but Zhuhai definitely never gets the Great Man’s favor! Hah~

Transformation in Zhuhai Campus

I’ve kept thinking these days. Am I really old-fashioned?

It did take a while before I noticed how great changes had occurs on this campus. When I was walking to the teaching building, or just waiting someone in street, I couldn’t help but sense people are different nowadays. Here I aim at no teachers. Of course the teachers have all switched this semester, but the whole bunch of variation was not enough to catch my real attention. Though by all means, the leaving of Serge, Roxie have really upsets me for a long while. Anyway, what I wanna talk about here is the foxes wandering around. Students here, no matter male or female, have suddenly turned into foxes!

THE BOYS

I’ve never seen such many cute guys in SYS University (definitely not my whole life. Girls whoever read this passage, and is willing to appreciate countless handsome boys, just go to my mother school – the ZhiXin High School. And I promise you can get more satisfaction than you want! ^^). Cluster in cluster, the number of the male creatures rises to at least twice as much overnight. And most surprisingly, THEY LOOK GREAT! Those cute guys are cool. They gather around in gangs, talk and laugh to each other like no one around. They would look at the girls, then smile to them, like gentlemen wanna take you to a coffee. They’re just like sun shining in the gloomy students’ life! This is not supposed to happen in an out-dated campus, especially in SUN YAT-SEN University. Rumors, which I firmly believe in, are that there’re no wonderful-looking guys here. But the fact today seems to be making an effort to rebuild their reputation! After days of curiosity, I couldn’t help but ask the girls. Then whole things come to obvious. Those guys are not the students of SYS University, if anything, they belong to the nearby college – Education Centre for Zhuhai Tsinghua Science Park[清华科技园]. That park and our university have somehow signed a contract, that their students could move in R8 for living and our teaching building vacancy is available as well. Well, that explains everything!

THE GIRLS

Since the day before yesterday, I’ve been in endless upset. The story happened on that afternoon. I woke up as usual at 2:00, rush on my clothes and hurry out to the teaching building. Just when I rushed down to the 5F (I’m living on 7F), a bunch of girls made for the staircase, too. OH MY GOD! My first reaction was these three words. THE GIRLS ARE GORGEOUS! Miniskirts, stockings, long boots, long curly or straight hair and with wonderful makeup, they fleeted to downstairs like butterflies shuttle in flowers. As I walked down the street, I began to realize that man-eaters are not excluded outside R7(where I was living). They are, quite the reverse, everywhere! Legs are floating everywhere right in front of me, under some colorful outfits and stylish boots, swinging towards to the classrooms. Hairs are drifted by the wind (here’s Zhuhai, of course there’s strong wind!), and they’re colorful, too! They’re red, yellow with the most fashionable looks, fixing even my pupils, let alone those boys’ passing by. Besides miniskirts, boots and barrettes, the handbag they’re carrying are attracted too, at least they successfully attracted my attention! When I’m reaching to my classroom, I notice even a overweigh girl is in a tight jean, with curly yellow hair lolling on her shoulder! I’ve never felt that frustrated of my appearance since the first day I stepped in this university! All my never-done hair was bind together, loosen sports clothes had wrapped me up into a big baggage, from which you could never tell the body shape. The large bag hooking on my shoulder, with a brick-like GRE inside, was feeling as embarrass as its owner by comparison with others. In a word, MISERABLE!

Now is 5:25 in the afternoon, even the canteens are full of foxes. Those butterflies are floating over the floors, which I can tell from the sound outside my dorm. Foxes are chasing at each other right this moment, I’m sure. Those guys, women are absolutely avid of the eye contact from the opposite array. Or else the boyfriends and girlfriends are just busy feeding each other like they’re the only two in world. And I, the oldest woman on this campus(there’re only freshman and sophomore here), single and miserable and in a blizzard pajama, am typing this long passage, utterly wretched, to memorize my gorgeous 20. And right next to me, my dearest GRE is lying open in endless gloom…

Written on 2007.3.15

I realize...

It dawns on me that the one last time will be missed again, like Carrie and Big.

my baby act still hurting others?

I’ve no intention to write this passage, but there’s thing happened that changed my mind. Since most of my friends nowadays, especially the university friends who’re close with me, keep telling me that how great changes of my mind occurs, I couldn’t help but wonder, do I really change that much?

Sometimes I’m quite pleased with my efforts, for which have successfully turned me into a low-pitched person, at least I was firmly sure of that like 20mins ago. Ever since I’m enrolled, I’ve been in the battle of fighting with my own self.

Against all odd, I was an outgoing and brash person. I used to speak out the way I feel and do what I want without regarding others’ feelings. Why? ‘ause I thought I was more superior than the rest of my schoolmates. I’M FROM THE ZHIXIN HIGH SCHOOL! And the highlight exactly explains my arrogance.

Anyway, by getting along with my classmates, I somehow come to the progression to refine myself. It gradually dawns on me that a successful university life takes not only my shining behaviors, flying grading, but also a right attitude. Therefore, I was hiding my sharpness as the life goes. And finally till today, I have reshaped myself into a new person with much to hide. I don’t have the intention of hurting the ones I care, and I definitely don’t want those who I care alienate from me! Through the whole process I have gain a lot of friends and a brand-new personality. Roya just told me this morning that everyone have observed the changes that gone through me, and just the moment I was more than happy to get others confirmation, someone I care, I relie on have told me, like 20mins ago, he might still think I’m too shine to hold back and hurting others by the way I do and speak. I was shock, and am now still chock back by his opinion. Am I just too baby to get shelter from the big brother next door? Have I ever hurt him without I even observe it? I don’t know. I really have no idea. While I’m emotionally rewarding myself for having been doing well enough to carry on, I’ve never foreseen the fact that my baby acting still hurts the ones I care!!! Is he just being too kind for me that I’ve done something that’s away too far? The fact is, I’m a big girl in front of other people, but I can’t never grow up when being with those I count on. If that is true, how much have I ever hurt my parents, my closest friends like Pig, Crab and Bread…? I’m just too afraid to face all of it.

Maybe I’ve never gone out of my ZHIXIN circle, and still a baby inside of those I lay myself on and keep hurting them. Can I be big enough to change it? or maybe that’s the true me?!

Sleepless in night March 6, 2007…