my baby act still hurting others?
I’ve no intention to write this passage, but there’s thing happened that changed my mind. Since most of my friends nowadays, especially the university friends who’re close with me, keep telling me that how great changes of my mind occurs, I couldn’t help but wonder, do I really change that much?
Sometimes I’m quite pleased with my efforts, for which have successfully turned me into a low-pitched person, at least I was firmly sure of that like 20mins ago. Ever since I’m enrolled, I’ve been in the battle of fighting with my own self.
Against all odd, I was an outgoing and brash person. I used to speak out the way I feel and do what I want without regarding others’ feelings. Why? ‘ause I thought I was more superior than the rest of my schoolmates. I’M FROM THE
Anyway, by getting along with my classmates, I somehow come to the progression to refine myself. It gradually dawns on me that a successful university life takes not only my shining behaviors, flying grading, but also a right attitude. Therefore, I was hiding my sharpness as the life goes. And finally till today, I have reshaped myself into a new person with much to hide. I don’t have the intention of hurting the ones I care, and I definitely don’t want those who I care alienate from me! Through the whole process I have gain a lot of friends and a brand-new personality. Roya just told me this morning that everyone have observed the changes that gone through me, and just the moment I was more than happy to get others confirmation, someone I care, I relie on have told me, like 20mins ago, he might still think I’m too shine to hold back and hurting others by the way I do and speak. I was shock, and am now still chock back by his opinion. Am I just too baby to get shelter from the big brother next door? Have I ever hurt him without I even observe it? I don’t know. I really have no idea. While I’m emotionally rewarding myself for having been doing well enough to carry on, I’ve never foreseen the fact that my baby acting still hurts the ones I care!!! Is he just being too kind for me that I’ve done something that’s away too far? The fact is, I’m a big girl in front of other people, but I can’t never grow up when being with those I count on. If that is true, how much have I ever hurt my parents, my closest friends like Pig, Crab and Bread…? I’m just too afraid to face all of it.
Maybe I’ve never gone out of my ZHIXIN circle, and still a baby inside of those I lay myself on and keep hurting them. Can I be big enough to change it? or maybe that’s the true me?!
Sleepless in night March 6, 2007…
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